Quotes Page

Some of my favorite quotes.

Here are some Marion Barry quotes....

"Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance."

"If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'."

"Always drink upstream from the herd."

"When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else."

"Never miss a good chance to shut up."

"The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket."

"Don't squat with your spurs on."

"Chance favors the prepared mind"

"When all else fails, manipulate the data"

Why do they sterilize the needles for a lethal injection?

"Never let the bastards get you down"

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

"Don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die"

Is there another word for synonym?

"The greater a person's sense of guilt, the greater his need to cast blame on others"

"Whenever you decide something with kindness, you usually make the right decision"

"Follow your dream!  Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill"

"When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbors dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself"

"Beauty is only a light switch away"

"No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit"

"It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere"

"If voting could really change things, it would be illegal"

"If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?  Congress!"

"A bad day of golf is better than a good day of work"

"Attack me..... I need the practice"

"Appearances are not everything; it just looks like they are"

"Blessed is he who expects no gratitude, for he shall not be disappointed"

"If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less"

"Never wrestle a pig; you both get dirty, and the pig likes it"

"Don't sweat the small stuff"

"Everything is small stuff"

Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect it back

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my right hand.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Everybody repeat after me: "We are all individuals"

Don't sweat petty things... or pet sweaty things.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If at first your don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.